John Searles Bubble Photography - Biography
These bubble photographs are directly related to an out-of-body experience I had in 1985. I must emphasize that an out-of-body experience is very different from a dream. A dream does not have the clarity or intensity of an out-of-body experience. Out-of-body experiences are not new in the history of humanity. Many non-Western cultures accept these as natural experiences. Other cultures venerate them as significant spiritual events. Regardless, an out-of-body experience can provide the individual with an irrefutable conviction concerning what happens when the physical body dies. You gain a deep awareness of the freedom and enduring-ness of the human spirit. Our awareness and our individuality do not disappear when our physical bodies cease to function. Freedom from the fear of dying can give you immense courage to fully embrace life. And fully embracing life can give you a limitless ability to love. With love, all things are possible.
Here's what happened. First I should mention that this wasn't my first conscious out-of-body experience. In 1969 I discovered yoga and the books of Lobsang Rampa and dedicated several hours a day, every day, to doing yoga and then afterwards, while doing the resting pose savasana, trying to leave my body. To be able to travel anywhere at the speed of thought! To explore and read and study and meet people while my physical body was sleeping! What an incredible skill to develop and have! I persevered without success until one evening, after I'd stood on my head in a trance for half an hour. I lay down in the savasana position and focused again on leaving my body. This time I suddenly felt my consciousness hurtling out of my body and upwards, as if through a long, long pipe. In an instant, I was aware of being out in the middle of deep space, a tiny speck of consciousness in the huge immensity of the universe, all alone. The experience terrified me and I instantly returned to my body. In the months following, I continued trying to leave my body, but I had become conditioned by fear and finally gave up that ambition. I did not know then how important it is to have a spiritual guide when venturing out of the physical realm.
A decade and a half later, I was struggling along with my day-job in the corporate jungle, constantly bewildered by the covert hostility that was ever-present around me. I was being successful as a weekend and evening photographer, doing portraits and weddings, but feeling creatively blocked. I had left my spiritual life to languish. I was married, but my wife had disappeared about 3 months earlier and I had no idea where she was or if she would ever come back. I was smoking again, and drinking too much. In fact, I was afraid to go to bed each night, afraid I would lie there all night in a tense knot, my mind running like a hamster on an exercise wheel. Sometimes, when I did sleep, I would awake up aware and terrified of malevolent entities in the room. I would feverishly repeat the Lord's Prayer over and over again, until the terror went away. I found it easier to drink myself to a near coma state, then fall into bed. And that's what I did this night.
I should mention that earlier in the week I'd been reading a scientific journal in which a learned man asserted that consciousness was merely a biochemical phenomenon, that there was no soul or spirit, that when we died that was that, consciousness and life, both, were over. The concept seemed plausible, and greatly depressed me. If there was no spiritual dimension to life, if this life was all there was and is, then there was no basis for the concepts of Karma, God, dharma, soul, and all the spiritual studies I'd been preoccupied with since 1968. No reason to be kind or generous, except to mislead others. No reason to live except to acquire possessions, to be victorious over others and to have sensory experiences. No basis for any kind of morality, other than 'don't get caught'. I realized many people believed this philosophy and lived accordingly. I worked with quite a few of them. I began to question my reasons for living. Why go through this struggle everyday, lonely, miserable, trying to be good and kind and honest, trying to do my best work, when it didn't matter, when I was just getting beat up by people who thought they were more important than me? I'd reached an emotional and philosophical low point where it didn't seem to matter whether I lived or died.
I didn't want to think about it anymore. I drank myself into a near coma again and went to bed. Usually I wouldn't wake up until the alarm rang, and then I'd wake up very groggy. But this night was different. I woke up in the middle of the night, absolutely clear-headed, with the distinct sensation that my ethereal body was moving up and out through my head. At first, this didn't make sense to me, because the head of my bed was against the wall. Then I realized I was leaving my body, and began to tense up with fear. Well, I thought, it doesn't matter if I live or die anyway, whatever happens is fine. I relaxed and let the experience happen.
Suddenly I was aware of being at the side of this huge, public square. It reminded me of pictures I'd seen of the large public squares they have in Russia. The season was perhaps late winter, early spring. There were no leaves on the trees along the side of the square. A number of men were intently playing chess with each other. A few women passed by, pushing baby carriages.
Beside me were two women, both dressed in the brown robes of a monastic order, with brown hoods and rope belts. The younger of the two women appeared to be in her mid 30-40s. Her large brown eyes were filled with deep tenderness, love and compassion. I have never felt such a profound, supportive, unconditional, total love before. I am deeply moved to think of her again. The older of the two women appeared to be 80-90 years of age. Her eyes were like dark diamonds, burning with intensity and intelligence. There was a sharp strength about her, and a hint of impatience. Her approval was definitely conditional. She wasn't there specifically for me. She was there to teach the younger woman how to teach me how to fly.
The instruction proceeded. The teaching was simple. If I believed I could fly, I would. If I didn't, then I wouldn't. I would be serenely floating along, above the trees, then I would look down and panic and start to fall. The women standing below would encourage me, "You can do it! Believe you can do it! Fly!" Somehow I would regain control and start to rise up again, relinquishing the sickening apprehension of painfully crashing. I'd float along serenely for a while again, then panic and start to fall. They'd encourage me to regain control and I'd come out of my dive at the last possible moment and slowly rise back up. It was an incredible struggle for a while, but by the end of the experience, I was playfully doing loops and dives with total control. And the two women spiritual teachers were proud, happy and triumphant. They had been successful too.
That was all I remembered. I must have automatically slipped back into my body, because the next time I awoke was with the alarm clock. I got out of bed with a full and total recollection of the prior night's events. I was somewhat confused and absolutely heartsick. I, who had been so starved for love ever since my mother had died, had experienced the deepest, profoundest love imaginable. All I wanted to do was to be back in the company of those two women again, especially the younger one, the one who emanated such an incredible caring, warmth and joy in my presence.
I tried and tried again to leave my body, but to no avail. Finally, in January 1987, I began to study the teachings of Eckankar, which then called itself 'The Ancient Science of Soul Travel'. I joined with the request for spiritual assistance to stop smoking and drinking and immediately I had positive results. I diligently worked at the Eckankar teachings and had many interesting and rewarding experiences. But I've never again been able to contact those two spiritual teachers.
After a while, I began to realize that I was misunderstanding the important points of the experience. One purpose had been to teach me how to fly, in other words, how to be free, in control, unafraid, living the life I wanted to live. The experience gave me the personal experience for the conviction that, as Soul, we are eternal and that our awareness and individuality continue after our physical bodies no longer function. I began to think deeply and intently about who I really was, what I really liked to do, what gave me the most joy, how I wanted to be in life. I realized that being a creative person on a daily basis was the only thing I wanted to do. Working creatively was the only way I could find meaning and happiness in my life. I began to find the courage and inner resources I needed and, step-by-step, began to make progress.
Here I am today. And this is my mission - to tell you that You Too Can Fly! May you soar with the eagles!
Believe You Can, and You Will.
John Searles
12-28-2005